Wham Bam Thank You Ma'am

I haven't written for a while. I know. Want to know why? I have been doing the classic end of the semester freak out that every college student knows about oh so well. Last night, it was either go to sleep, or write a blog. I chose sleep. But now, I am done. Time to start writing again!

You should have seen me on Wednesday afternoon. It was a disaster. My legs were so sore from the gym that I couldn't walk properly. I know that I have said that in the past, but this time, I really mean it. I getting up to walk to buy some food, and to even get up out of my chair, I had to use my hands. When i was walking, my teacher came up and asked me what was wrong, because I looked like an old lady. I have never, in my life, been so happy to just stay sitting in one chair for 5 hours without getting up. Even though I had to go to the store to buy more milk, I decided that it could wait another day. The less walking I had to do, the better. Sleeping wasn't even comfortable. I kept waking up in the middle of the night because I had moved, and my legs hurt.

That night, we watched a movie called 喜宴, or The Wedding Planner. No, it is not that movie that you are thinking about, the one with Jennifer Lopez. It was made in 1993, by a famous Chinese director named Li An. Basically, the plot line is that there is a gay Chinese man who is living in New York with his boyfriend of 5 years, and his traditional parents living in Taiwan keep trying to get him to get married. To placate his parents, he decided to try to trick them, and marry a friend, so that his parents would be happy, and she would get a much needed green card. In the end, they ended up getting very drunk, she got pregnant, and the two men almost split up. I know, it doesn't like such a fantastic movie, but trust me, there were definitely some cute parts. And it had me in tears from laughing so hard at some points. It was mostly in Chinese, but there was still some English in it (I can't tell you how excited I was when I realized that some of the people were speaking English), so if you can find it with subtitles, I strongly recommend it.

ANYWAY. I'm done advertising movies. There was one line that I am fairly sure I will remember for forever. It was at the end of the movie, when the guy was telling his mom that he had a boyfriend. His exact words were "Friend. Lover. Mom, I am gay." That sounds pretty normal to you, I am sure. But later on, in class, we had to read out that scene again, and I had to read that line, and I swear to god, I read it, and then almost died laughing. Not for any particular reason, (And trust me, I am not homophobic) but seriously, if you were gay, can you imagine saying that exact line to your mom? It's just so awkward. Maybe you had to be there. It's still funny to me, 4 days later.

I may have to start referring to this Thursday as the Little Day of Horrors. Today (Friday) was our midterm, and next week is our Social Studies project. Needless to say, this entire week, I have more or less resembled a ticking bomb, trying to get all of my studying done. Our teachers gave us a study guide that we can use, but guess what? It was 14 pages. 14 PAGES. And that was just the first study guide. With only grammar points. Bloody hell. The second study guide, which was 8 pages long, had phrases, and more grammar. Studying was super duper fun.

I spent the majority of my Thursday trying to calm down, and study. Going through those study guides was not fun. I have a really hard time remembering the phrases, because their meanings are very figurative, and it is hard to remember both their meanings and their uses. I spent most of the afternoon studying. Except for a small break when I went to go see Jack.

Jack. He thought it was funny that while I was running on the treadmill, waiting for him to finish with the person before me, I was also studying. I used the study guide to hide the time, and as a study guide (surprise surprise). He offered to help me study as well, but I was feeling pretty smart at the point, and understanding most of what I should understand (go me!) Unfortunately, my day did not continue to go well. I was still tired from the last time that I had worked out with him, so I was not on my game. Besides, his opening move? Telling me to do dips (and no, I did not have any bands to help me. He just held my legs.) It was not easy. Legs were not so hard, but my arms. I have no upper body strength. It's a work in progress, but there is still progress to be made.

Then I made a big mistake. I drank too much water. I know. The kiss of death. All of you exercise people should know exactly what happened next. You guessed it: I felt sick. There is nothing quite like the feeling of trying to work out when your stomach is trying to get rid of everything that is in it. That was the feeling that I had. Jack was nice though. I told him that I wasn't feeling all that awesome, and he still told me that I was doing a good job, and that I would be better next time. Maybe he is finally starting to get the idea...

Now, Jack is going back home for a week. He didn't tell me why, just that there was something happening at home and he was going home for it. Maybe I will find myself another trainer for the next week. I haven't entirely decided yet. I guess we will have to see how hard it is to get another one. It is just so much easier to work hard when you have someone else standing over you with a whip (metaphorically, of course. I don't think that I would like it if he actually did have a whip.)

I spent the rest of the night studying, trying to prepare for my speaking test. I felt pretty confident about the written test, but speaking... Bloody hell. We had to prepare a 3 minute answer to three questions that my teacher had previously given us. Fun stuff. I gave it a shot, and then called it quits at 10. Call me whatever you like, I need to get 8 hours of sleep every night. 10:30 is my bed time during the week. :)

And that brings us to today. D day. Or rather, T day (test day...). The written test started bright and early at 8 AM. It was hard, I am not going to lie. But it was not as hard as it could have been. There were definitely some words that I didn't know how to say, but I thought that I made a pretty good effort at guessing. I'm not going to give an example, because I am afraid that I might offend someone. At least I finished it. Better than not doing it at all.

It was the speaking test that I had more of a problem with. We had 25 minutes of preparation time with one of the teachers, and I felt like my preparations were a complete shambles. At least I had someone to help me. That definitely gave me an idea of which direction I should be heading it. I spent the next half an hour trying to prepare for it, writing down words, planning. You know. All the good studious things that us language majors have to do all the time. It is amazing how I have been studying Chinese for 6 years, but I still have so much to learn. It's exhausting.

At one point, I simply (and predictably) gave up. I figured, if at this point I am not ready, then I was not ready. At this point, I knew as much as I was going to know. And guess what? It wasn't scary. I went in, sat in front of my two teachers, and said my little prepared speech. They were tired and hungry, I was tired and hungry, and we were done. And it was fine. I came out smiling, which I can safely say, does not normally happen.

Now, I have spent the entire day just trying to get my bearings. I feel like I was just mugged in an alleyway in New York: it was really intense and painful for a short amount of time, and now I am just lying in the gutter trying to figure out what the hell just happened. I have worked my ass off for the past 4 weeks, studying for my tests every spare second that I have, and while it is certainly not over, it is over for now. I have no more tests for another week, just individual research. I can't believe that I have finished 4 weeks. It has just flown by. How did that happen? I blinked, and now I am half way done. My summer has never gone by so quickly. This feeling, by the way, is what the title is referring to.

It's weird though. I am working hard, and I am exhausted most of the time, but I am happy. The benefits out weigh the costs. I am being challenged in Chinese again. I am actually learning, studying hard, and pushing myself. I love this feeling, of having to work hard, of actually learning. There is no better high. I am rediscovering my love for Chinese, and my passion for learning. It's a reminder of my goals, of my hopes for life after college. It's proof to myself that I can handle anything. I'm in China, studying Chinese, and doing well at it. How many people can say that?

To add onto this awesome feeling, I got my HSK test results back. I got a 4. What does this mean? Technically, this is called Intermediate with Honors. That's my level, apparently. However, I am only 6 points away from a 5. Piece of cake. So what does this score mean? It means that if any time in the future I decide that I want to apply to grad school in China, I can. I am now officially certified to go to grad school here. The Chinese government that I am competent enough in Chinese for that. I couldn't possibly say if I entirely agree with them, but hey, who I am to argue? How about that, sports fans? Hong Kong, here I come!

So, on that positive note, I bid you good night! And trust me, I will be posting regularly again now that I don't have to study like a mad woman for a midterm. Life of a college student. What are you going to do?