Comfort

When I get stressed, I eat. I'm pretty sure it is just simply something that my body needs, on a genetic level. I can't speak for the rest of my family, but I am pretty sure that they do it to. Today was a little bit stressful, so needless to say, my inhibitions went out the window, and a crapload of food came in. I find comfort in food. What do you find comfort in?

My day started normally. Shower, bowl of cereal, cup of tea. You know, the morning ritual. I wasn't stressed this morning, so the food binge hadn't started yet.

I was exhausted all day. And sore. Post gym sore. Walking was not so comfortable today. I know that I have said before that Mondays are the worst, but I today I could barely keep my eyes open. During our lecture this morning from 8 - 9:20, I was so tired that my eyes wouldn't focus, and I could see two of my teacher, when there definitely should only have been one. (If there are twins, I would really like to know, because they I wouldn't feel like a crazy.)

Today was a tough day in class, not just because I was so tired that I couldn't keep my eyes open. The main lesson today had to do with newspaper articles. We were learning how to write one in Chinese, and how to read them. It was bloody hard. We had to read 3 in class (quickly. kind of like skimming) and I swear to god, I had no idea what they said. I might as well have been reading Russian. My biggest problem is new words. I feel like I am so far behind the rest of the class, but my teachers assure me that I am not. Who knows. I have to trust them. I was having a really hard time reading the newspapers today, and that was making me frustrated, and anxious. After class, I felt like I deserved bao zi. 5 bao zi, coming right up.

My teacher grabbed me at the end of one of my classes, and gave me a list of places that I can go for my Social Studies project. This started the second wave of neurosis for the afternoon. She told me to basically walk into the Beijing Chinese Medicine School, and just ask to interview people. I don't know about you, but I am not particularly comfortable just walking up to people. Call me a social hermit if you like. So I started to get anxious. How was I going to find people to interview? What if I didn't know what they responded when I asked the question? Would I be able to write the paper? Would they help me? It was a bad bad cycle.

By lunch time I was ready for a break. Lunch of broccoli and chicken, and a calming talk with my mother over lunch. I had snapped at one of my friends over absolutely nothing, so I felt the overwhelming urge to close myself off in my room for a while.

In my one on one class today, the challenge was to first present a newspaper article that I had read this weekend, and then read an article with my teacher, and understand it. It was not an easy task. I handled my previously prepared article pretty easily, with not a whole lot of glitches. It was the other article that gave me some trouble. My vocabulary is not as big as it should be, so that when I read articles, I can't really understand what they are saying. It is definitely getting better, but I have a long way to go.

I bought myself an ice cream on the way home. I'm telling you, comfort food: it works like a charm. I spent the rest of the afternoon just resting, and trying to get my homework done. My legs were so sore that all I wanted to do was sit, and do nothing. Moving hurt.

I am proud of myself for one more thing though. For the first time, I went to a yoga class. A proper yoga class. Not hot yoga. So this time, I could actually tolerate it. I still haven't decided if I liked it or not. I mean, it was good to stretch, but I felt like a complete fool doing yoga. I know that it is good for your body and what not, but seriously, it is also kind of complete crap. Maybe I will go back. To be announced.

And that my loves, was my day. Good night!