Just Calm Down...

So, it has to be stated. I may be losing my mind a little bit. I go from really testy (it is obvious) to fine, and then to freaked out in about 2 seconds flat. No lie. My emotions are all over the place. It may be because I don't exercise, but I know that if I join a gym then I will never go, and it will just be a waste of money. It is a problem that I still have no solved.

This morning was slow start, although I impressed myself. Although my alarm went off at the usual time, I didn't get out of bed until 5:50, a full 20 minutes later than usual, and still, I was able to get out of the house at the same time. It was pretty good. And I even had a bowl of corn flakes, my last one. It was great.

I almost missed my bus this morning, but another one came right after, so I wasn't too upset. The whole time (all during the bus ride that is) I was saying my speech to myself. I got it down so that I could say it quickly (rapid fire man, it's the only way to go) and I felt totally ready for my speech. Well, as ready as I was going to be. You know the point where you practice so much you make yourself nervous? I felt like I was hitting that point, and decided it was a good place to start.

People showed up pretty early to school this morning (not earlier than me though) some because they had Tai Chi and some because they just did. Everyone with speeches was really worried, as we should be, I imagine. I went into a room with my friend Elle, and she said her speech to me, as a practice run. Her topic was Chinoiserie, so it was pretty impressive. Then Chris came in and started saying his. He was smart because he memorized the concepts of his speech rather than the actual words, so it was much more fluid than mine and Elle's. That did not give me confidence.

We had to walk down to the room where all the speeches were going on, and it seemed to me that it went much faster than yesterday. Before I knew it, it was my turn to talk, and I had to do a long walk up to the microphone. It was probably one of the most terrifying things I have done in my life, I was that nervous. I didn't know where to look, or where to put my hands. As I was walking up the microphones, I took a deep breath, and said, in my classic screwball way "Bugger this." Apparently, I was too close to the microphones though, because that got picked up. It earned me a couple laughs.

By the end of my speech (I only forgot one part, for a split moment) my face was bright red, and I was shaking. It was absolutely horrible. I had to go back to my chair and hide my face. I don't ever want to do that ever again. The rest of the speeches were really good. When they were done, we had to go mingle with our family members who came to watch us. My mom met Chris, and laughed a lot. She is so funny. I got lots of looks from Chris's sister, but what can you do? Chinese people will be Chinese people.

A quick jian bing run, and I was back upstairs, and back into regular SYA routine. The rest of my day was pretty basic. History first, learning more about Mao and the Communist Party, and then Calculus. I was in a groove in Calculus today, and I could actually do the integration problems Mr. Pettus wanted us to do. It was amazing. Hopefully my streak will continue onto tomorrow. Cross your fingers.

I wasn't too hungry for lunch, but I went downstairs with Chris anyway, because I wanted to go outside. Today was a nice day, only 45 degrees, which is actually seeming warm to me now. I only wore a long sleeve shirt and a sweatshirt, which, on hindsight, seems insane to me. More evidence that I am slowly losing my mind.

I had the period after lunch off, as my study period, so the two hours until my last class went by slowly. I sat in the small study room upstairs with a variety of people (coming and going) and tried to do homework. I say tried because I have found that it is way to easy to get distracted here. I did get some work done though, and that is the important thing. English was last period of the day, and it is easy to tell that that was the last period. Both our teacher and us had run out of steam, and we were let out 5 minutes early.

After school, I made the lovely discovery that they only homework I had to do was studying. In celebration, Chris, Sterling and I went downstairs to the DVD store to buy something. After an intense study of the selection, I bought all 6 Star Wars movies for $6.11. I love China. Seriously. With a deal like that, how could I refuse? I also bought Because I Said So for about a dollar, but that one didn't work when I played it later, so we won't talk about it.

We had to run back upstairs to get our stuff, and then I went home (after helping Elle with her math. The math test tomorrow has the potential to end very badly...) When I got home at quarter to 5, no one was home, much to my pleasure. I made myself a cup of English Breakfast Tea (which is the greatest on this planet) and tried to get Because I Said So to work. I gave up after half an hour, and just put in the first Star Wars.

My sister brought dinner home at around 6:30, and after a quick dinner break, I went back to watching Star Wars, and didn't finish until about 8. It was great. I will admit it, I am a nerd, but at least I am a happy nerd. Chinese homework and studying followed right after that, and now, I am just getting ready for bed. I got 7 hours of sleep last night (yes!) but I am still tired. I think it is high time that I went off to slumber land. Good night all.