The Only Way to Deal With Cravings Is To Give In

I am way too hard on myself. I expect myself to be perfect, so when I am not perfect (which is quite often) it makes me grouchy. I then have to remind myself that I am not perfect, and that I really need to not expect so much from myself. I feel like this is probably the root of many of my problems.

Take today, for instance. All that I wanted to do was stay inside, watch movies, write my fable (that I have to write as homework. Fun, I know.) But I felt like I should go out and do things. I felt like if I didn’t go out, then I would be wasting my time in China. Which is absurd. I should just do whatever I want to do. That may be an easy thing for you to say/do, but believe me when I say it is not easy for me. That’s my little secret. Don’t tell anybody.

I ended up staying in my dorm for most of the day. I wrote part of my essay (250 characters out of 800 done… so not even close to being done yet), and watched a lot of movies. It’s interesting, I think that as the studious part of my brain works harder, the rest of my brain starts to shut down. All that I have room for right now is Disney movies. I need a holiday.

I left my room for lunch today, and completely gave into my cravings. That honestly is the only way to deal with your cravings. I got this yummy bread thing that you dip in sugar sauce (so much better than it sounds), stir fried beef and green peppers, and this weird green bean and tofu dish. And it was so good. Even though it was only me eating, I managed to finish off most of it (and for only 6 dollars). And it was glorious. To finish off my lunch experience, I bought myself a chocolate ice cream, and then headed back to my room. Cravings. Give in. You know you want to.

At 6:30, it was time to get my ass in gear, and go out. Tonight, our program was taking us to the Lao She Tea House, which is a famous Tea House in Beijing. What is a tea house, you might ask? Basically, it is a classically Chinese place, where you go and sit with about 6 other people around a table, and you drink tea and eat their provided snacks, surrounded by probably a hundred other people at similar tables. While you drink tea, there are performances on a stage at the front of the room for your entertainment. There were a lot of actually really fun performances.

The first one was a performance of shadow hands, where the guy made animal and singer shadows. The singers actually sang along with songs. I really wish that I could do that. New hobby! After that was one of the weirdest singing performances I have ever seen. Two singers walked on the stage, and then stuck a holder holding 3 candles into their mouths. Huh? Their job was to sing, without opening their mouths, because their mouths had to hold this holder. AND THEY COULD ACTUALLY SING. Even though they couldn’t move their mouths, I could still understand what they were saying. What I want to know is, who on earth decided that they should start singing without moving their mouths? How on earth did that start?

There were also the obligatory performances of acrobatics and Kung Fu. The acrobatics made me wince. I can’t believe how much they can bend. It made me hurt. I am not a flexible person at all, but I really wish that I was. And the Kung fu was obviously amazing. That always promises to be a good show. Those guys, throwing themselves around the stage, are definitely worthy of all the praise that they get.

There was one last weird performance. Three girls came onto the stage, and started dancing. They were supposed to be fish, so they were dressed in blue sparkly dresses, and very dressed up. And they started dancing. But it was incredibily weird, because honestly, they could have been dancing in a much more intimate place, if you get my meaning. All of us girls at least, were dying of laughter, and every man’s face in that place just lit up. Definitely one of the most memorable performances I have seen. I still don’t understand it.

And that was my night. Good night!

Hurricane Friday

You know those weeks where, at the end of them, you lie sprawled on your bed, thinking about the week, and all of a sudden feel the overwhelming urge to get out of reality as quickly as possible? This was one of those weeks, and today was the icing on the cake. To start off with, my shower was only luke warm. That is never a good sign.

Then came what shall be kindly referred to as the test from hell. It was the most ingenious combination of colloquial Chinese and literature Chinese that I have seen. It was also the most confusing one that I have had, and definitely the one that I have gotten the lowest score on. I still got a B-, but I don't want to go into details. Don't ask, don't tell, that's my motto. (As a point of fact, this motto has also gotten me through some rather trying dinner parties here in China... dog, anyone?) Some of the questions I just point blank did not know the answer to, but hey, 50 50 chance, why not risk it.

Then came the preparation for the oral test. We had two tests today. The first one was the memorization test, where we had to pick a paragraph (at random, obviously) and then recite it to our teachers for a grade. I spent half an hour, talking to myself in a corner, going over and over and over both paragraphs so that I wouldn't be quite so nervous, and obviously so that I would get a good grade. You know, that tiny little detail that teachers like to harp on and on about. One of the paragraphs I had down to pat: namely, the one that described Kong Yiji. It was easy to memorize, because it told a story, and actually had a point. The second paragraph was not so much fun. God, it is still running through my head right now, although I have since added some choice swear words as an accent. It was a paragraph simply describing leaves on the lake. I know that I have mentioned it before, but I want to make sure you that you completely understand the depth of its uselessness.

I also have a confession to make. Yes, I memorized it, but there are parts in that paragraph where I have absolutely no idea what I was saying. Not a clue. I simply memorized the sounds that I was supposed to be making, and went from there. Meaning? Completely over rated. In my defense, I simply decided that I had time either to memorize it, or understand the meaning. Priorities and all that. Well, what my teachers don't know won't hurt them.

When it was my turn to test (I was actually first) I walked in to the room, repeating a mantra in my head: "Kong Yiji, Kong Yiji, Kong Yiji..." Oh yes, I was hoping against hope that that was the paragraph I would pick. My teachers handed me two slips of paper, and I had to choose between them. Even though they were folded, I still held them up to the light to see if I could see which paragraph they corresponded to. It didn't help. So I closed my eyes, and picked one. Which one do you think I got?

If you said Kong Yiji, you would be 100% wrong. Nope, I got the one that started out as "On the winding lotus lake surface..." Fun stuff, let me tell you. It would be a pretty paragraph, if it wasn't so annoying. The only way that I memorized it is because I drew pictures in my head to describe each section. This didn't help my problem of talking with my hands. I swear, one of these days, they are just going to get out of control, and even though i may start out just trying to give a description, I am going to start hitting people. It's not my fault.

One exciting thing did happen in the midst of all this madness. After I was done with my speaking test, I decided that it was time to relax, so I went out to where a lot of chairs are, sat down, put my feet up, put some music on, and closed my eyes. I was in bliss. Until my teacher came over to disturb me. What for, you might ask? Well, earlier in the day, we had all had to translate some sentences, and turn it in to our teachers so that we could all participate in a translation competition. Apparently, I translated my sentences relatively good, so I got to go onto the next stage, and do more translations, and then read my translations out loud to one of the teachers. He seemed pretty impressed. I was feeling on top of the world. I have an extremely jaded view of my Chinese, so it is nice to get recognized every once in a while.

It was just after this, when I went back for the last hour of class, that I realized I had lost my textbook. For the last hour of class, we all had to, very informally, give a book report on a book of our choice (I did my on The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo.) I had made notes, mostly in the form of words I didn't know, and stuck it in my textbook for safe keeping, But when I went to get my book out of my bag so that I could get my notes, my book wasn't there. I had no idea where it went. That book is my life here at HBA this summer. It is my version of the Bible. Without it, I am a goner. So I was panicking just a little bit. As soon as the class was over, I immediately headed over to where I had been hanging out, looking for it. But bad news folks: I didn't find it. Looks like I am going shopping this weekend.

I was a bit frazzled by the time that we all had to go eat lunch (I never thought I would be so upset by losing my textbook) that I was still feeling a little bit prickly. Today, we went to go eat Korean food, at one of the small restaurants on campus. The food was not fantastic, to put it simply. It was amazingly spicy, so much so that even though I didn't eat a whole lot, but my stomach was not particularly happy. I also cut out early so I could go back to our classrooms and look for my book. I know, I am a nerd.

I was also employed today to bring some people to my favorite DVD place. They wanted to buy some DVDs, and I was more than happy to enable a bad habit. There were five of us, including me. (Actually, in a weird turn of events, as we were walking to the main gate of campus to leave, we ran into one of my old SYA teachers, who was here to attend a conference or something like that. How is that for coincidence?) We took the bus over to the store, and then went to town. One of the girls spent 45 dollars buying DVDs, and left with two bags bulging full. It was insanity. I am sure that the store people are celebrating tonight, what with having just fleeced a bunch of over eager foreigners. I am happy to report that I have a strict set of guidelines for myself whenever I go to the DVD stores, because otherwise, I would be the one spending way too much money.

For the rest of the afternoon, all that I wanted to do was stay inside and watch movies. You might say that this is a silly thing to do, but honestly, it has been one of those weeks. I feel like I should go fetal in one of the corners, and just rock myself to sleep. I have the desperate need to hide from the world. So I lay down on my bed, put on a movie, and relaxed.

The movie happened to be the Lion King, by the way. I almost started crying when Mufasa died. How is that for burnt out? I am now crying at Disney movies. Good thing I wasn't watching Bambi, I might have started bawling. Not enough tissues in the world. (I bet you didn't quite believe me when I said that it has been the week from hell. Do you believe me now? Crying over Disney movies...)

Unfortunately, I had to leave my Fortress of Healing (trying out new names for my room... what do you think?) and go to see Jack. He was in a super good mood tonight. Maybe he got a girlfriend. He was extremely chatty. I learned that what I consider tea (black tea with milk and sugar) is not tea. At least, not according to his standards. If you add things to it, it doesn't count. I tell you what, I will give up dinner, but I absolutely will not give up my cups of tea. The line has to be drawn somewhere.

The workout was super arm heavy today. I am definitely starting to get some muscle in my arms, but I still have a long way to go. I think that Jack just likes making me suffer. I told him today that I was onto him, that I knew he was secretly trying to kill me. He just laughed, and told me to keep exercising. That's not a good sign. To give myself a break, I started asking him about what he thinks I should eat everyday. I figure if I can keep him talking, then I can catch my breath. His advice falls somewhere between going vegetarian, and extreme dieting. Meat twice a week at the most, small portions of food, fruit for dinner. I am not entirely sure that I agree with him. It also doesn't help that some of the serious road blocks standing between me and vegetarianism are 1) I don't like eggs and 2) I like meat. I'm doing the best I can to listen to his advice, but obviously it gets broken. I'm not completely insane. Well, not yet, anyway.

There was also a little kid, 8 years old, working out with one of the trainers tonight. It was the cutest thing ever. He was this tiny little kid, fat as can be, jumping over boxes and standing up on his tippy toes, while this huge muscular Chinese man encourages him. I wish that I had taken my camera out, but that would have been AWKWARD. I couldn't get the story on him, because Jack was not too clear at all, but I have the feeling that he was related to the guy in some way. But who knows.

And now, I am writing my blog. I have spent most of my night in the same position, watching movies and reading Sherlock Holmes. It has been the perfect night. All that I want to do is stay in, and staying in is what I shall do. Sometimes, you just need you time, which includes becoming a hermit for a while. After the week that I have had, I would say, I deserve it. I can't even imagine only having two weeks vacation before going back to Vermont. I am going to be batty by Christmas time.

Good night!

Just How Good Is Your Memory?

The next time that I say that one of the reasons that I started learning Chinese was to read literature in Chinese, remind me to come back to this blog, and come back to Chapter 17 in my second textbook. I will immediately remember just how painful it really is. Let me explain why I am saying this.

Every night, we have to preview tomorrows lesson, which includes learning the words, reading the text, and becoming familiar with the grammar. I read the text for today last night, and it was painful. The entire thing described flowers and the moonlight on a lake at night. Basically, it was literature to the extreme. Somehow, this didn't set off any alarm bells in my head. Not at the moment, any way. Clearly, I am not as smart as my new glasses make me look.

The alarm bells finally went off as soon as we started class. The entire class, and yes, the entire day, was all about metaphors and personification. I don't even like doing those in English, much less in Chinese. Not to mention, Chinese literature is almost impossible to learn. Most of the rules that we have been learning for the past couple of years with regards to Chinese grammar and measure words, all of sudden no longer apply to Chinese literature. It is another language within a language. Sure, it is beautiful, anybody will tell you that (sometimes they will even harp on and on and on about it) but dear god, there is a time when enough is just enough.

I have found that my biggest problem with learning literature, and trying to imitate it, is that I am just not touchy feeling/cheesy enough to really get into it. During our conversational class, for example, we spent the entire time thinking up metaphors and personifications. One of the questions was "A perfect marriage is like..." and we had to think something up. My first instinct? "A happy marriage is like... A HAPPY MARRIAGE." The moonlight is like the moonlight, the sunlight is like the sunlight. I am pretty sure a person's eyes are just their eyes, not akin to the warmth of a summer breeze, or deep as the seven seas. I just don't have that artsy streak to me. I have a feeling that this is going to be a problem sometime in the near future (READ: test that I have in the morning.) Oh bugger.

I was torn when class ended today. On the one hand, I was absolutely over the moon, because I was starving and wanted lunch. On the other hand, being done with class meant that I needed to go outside, and it was a horrible day outside. You could feel the smog and the humidity pressing down on you. It was like walking through mud. There was also the promise of rain. You could feel it on your skin. On these kinds of days, I think that it is simply best to stay inside all day, and to go out as infrequently as possible. Just a suggestion.

During my one on one class with my teacher, we spent more time trying to make up metaphors. In addition to that, I had to give a book report on a book of my choice. What else could I choose? Obviously, it was The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo; one, because it is an amazing book, and two, it is the book that I can remember the most vividly right now, because it is the one that I have read most recently. Well, that trilogy, anyway. I hadn't really prepared for it all that well (as I have to do it for real tomorrow) but I thought that I pulled it off pretty well. Confidence boost! It was actually a pretty low key class, because my teacher was exhausted, and I would have rather been back in my dorm. Good times.

Today was my rest day from the gym, so I spent the rest of the afternoon studying, and reading. I have finally finished The Girl Who Kicked the Hornets Nest. Amazing. I can't believe I am done with the series though, and that there aren't going to be anymore. It is such an amazing book. If you haven't read it, you need to stop reading this and start reading that. No joke.

Studying actually went pretty well. Our grammar this week is not all that hard, and I have prepared the book report for tomorrow. The hardest part? Memorization. I have the Kong Yiji paragraph down to pat, but it's the literature one that worries me. It's hard to memorize something when there is no story to follow. It is strictly a descriptive paragraph, so the words aren't nearly as fun to say. I think I have got it mostly down. If I can just say all the words in the right order, I will be happy. It's hard! Tones are another matter completely. I haven't quite gotten to the point where I can remember both tones, and the words. It's one or the other, and frankly, I am more worried about characters. I like to think that I have my priorities in a row...

And now, I am going to put myself and my rather large head ache to sleep. It's that time of the night. Besides, as well all know, it's better to get some sleep before a test than to stay up all night trying to study. If I don't know it by now, I'm not going to know it.

从我的体验看中国的中医

This is the Chinese essay that I wrote about Chinese medicine as the result of my Social Studies Project. I know, it's in Chinese, but I don't have a translation of it on me. If you are interested, I can tell you all about it when I get back to America! I would be delighted to. Also, I will try to write a translation and post it this weekend.

中医是世界上最古老的医学之一。从三千多年前一直到现在，中医学家都在改进和发展中医的做法。固然中医是在中国起源的，但是现在，中医传播到很多别的国家如：美国、印度和英国等。中医，这个词，包括很多方面和很长的历史。在这个报告里，笔者会回顾中医的历史背景及针灸和拔罐儿的作用。

历史背景

上文已经提到，在有文字记录之前，中医已经有了很长的历史。针灸这个字最早出现在一本叫《针灸甲乙经》的书中。这本书是皇甫谧写的。他出生于公元 215年（东汉代时），去世于公元282年（晋代）。这是历史上最早关于针灸的一本书；因此这本书是历史上最重要的有参考价值的书。我们可以参考这本书的针灸和经纬。 这本书也介绍了在身体上应该放针的地方，怎么放针及针灸的作用和好处。

除了这本书以外，还有一部很重要的书是《黄帝内经》。这本书有两个部分：第一个是素问，第二个是灵枢。素问包括了中医根本的理论；灵枢很详细地讨论了针灸的作用。到现在，这本书的说法和建议还很有道理，因为书的内容涉及了全部的中医理论；这些理论还适用于今天的中医做法。

中医的理论基于道教的思想 （气、阴阳、五元素和这些元素的和谐）。传统中医学家认为身体健康是由阴阳、气和五行的和谐决定的。 气有三种：出生时有的气，自己积累的气和保护身体的气。中医学家认为对于保持身体健康而言，气是最重要的，别的东西都在其次。假如气突然不畅，病也就随即产生了。医生会看病人的症状（症状有赖于是什么样的气不畅了），就用针灸或拔罐或别的方法来治疗病人的病。通过病的症状，让大夫们知道哪一部分的气不畅了。中医学家认为这样的不畅是身体产生病的根本原因。身体里有12条气线，叫经纬。每一个经纬不畅的时候，都会有不同的症状， 因为每一个经纬都影响了不同的器官系统。

阴阳是气的一部分，因此也有相同的理论基础。阴和阳，这两个字，都有不同的意思。阴代表了女人、月亮、冷、黑等等；阳代表了男人、太阳、热、火、阳光等等。阴和阳相吻合，但是你不能简单地用只有阴或者只有阳来说明身体里的问题。固然这两个元素是相反的，但是也是相辅相成的。意思就是，假如没有阴的话，则阳也不能存在。太多阴，或者太多阳，都会引起不同的病。

五行是中医的特点；中医基于这个理论。这五个元素是：火、土、金、水和木。每一个元素都代表了一个器官或者器官系统。固然这些元素只关于一些器官，但是元素也影响了别的元素；因此，它们的关系也是相对的，它们之间不无关系。

到这儿，我还没写针灸和拔罐可以治疗什么样的病。针灸和拔罐儿可以治疗的病很多。一些可以缓解的病是： 太阳穴头疼，眩晕，拉肚子，孕妇生孩子以后的问题，等等。但是，这两个中医做法最重要的帮助还是缓解疼痛。

针灸和拔罐儿有一样的理论、作用和帮助。因此，上面写的理论适用于拔罐儿和针灸。

下面有两个我体验中医时的例子：

针灸

在这个星期，我总算有机会体验针灸。我一直想做，可惜至今我没有机会或者时间。我从小一直就有比较厉害的头疼，因此我想通过体验中医的机会来缓解我的头疼。老师们告诉我北京有一个大名鼎鼎的医院叫北京中医医院，所以我去了医院让人给我做针灸。中国的医院不同于美国的医院；因此我一个人去找大夫让我很紧张。到医院时，我在房间的外面等大夫，开始跟一个等待的病人谈话。他说，他和他的家人在20年的时间里一直来看这个大夫。他告诉我一些中医奇迹的故事。固然他完全相信中医的能力，但是对于一些病，他还是认为一个人只得去看西医（比如说，头疼的原因）。

我总算看到我的大夫了，发现她是一个年龄比较大的女人。开始做针灸以前，她花十分钟的时间问我一些问题。比方说：

1）你觉得你为什么常常头疼？
2）你每天吃什么？吃几顿？
3）你有没有胃问题？
4）你的尿液是不是黄色？

回答问题以后，我们总算开始做针灸。她把3个针放在我的额上，5个放在我的头上，两个放在我的颈上，4个放在我的腿上，还有4个放在我的脚上。她放针和起针的时候，有一点疼，还流了一点血（起针的时候），但是别的时间都没有问题。她放针的时候，先看我整个的身体，找到了我身体的经纬，才放针。放针以后，我安静地躺下，听着医院的声音。大夫离开了我们的房间，让我自己放松（这也是中医的一个大部分：放松）。等半个小时以后，大夫才回来起针。

始料所未及，我的头疼消失了。中医的做法真的有道理，真有帮助。

拔罐儿

拔罐儿的感觉不同于针灸的感觉：做针灸的时候，有疼的感觉，但是拔罐儿的时候，只有舒服的感觉。拔罐儿平常是在胃上和背上做的，但是也可以在脚，腿和手腕上做。（这三个地方的气经纬是有最大的帮助的。）我周六晚上去足疗中心做拔罐儿。拔罐儿的时候，拔罐儿者先准备那些罐（这次，她用了16个）。准备包括了点着了一个在罐子里面的酒精浸透的棉球，然后很快地把罐子放在我的背上,罐子马上开始吮吸我的皮肤。罐子在我的背上的时候，没有疼的感觉。

等了十分钟以后，我才可以起罐子。起了以后，我全背都有很大的罐子吸住的青瘀。那是拔罐的坏处之一。拔罐儿的好处是缓解疼痛，也可以清除身体里的垃圾。

结尾

开始研究中医之前，我不了解中医的作用，不知道历史上关于针灸最重要的书，也不知道传统的中医基于什么样的理论。这样的情况让我很难找到一个了解中医的切入点。到现在，我还没有找到；但是，我现在更了解中医。通过自己体验中医（和跟我大夫和别的中医病人交流）让我了解中医的作用，还有让我开始真正的了解身体里的经纬和中医怎么用气的经纬来治病。

归根到底中医，这个词，包括了很长的历史、很多方法（拔罐儿、针灸等等）和很多理论。这篇文章很难清清楚楚地介绍中医，但是，我比较简单的介绍了中医的一些基本情况。

Miracles Happen

One major downside that any person who studies Chinese (any English speaking person, at least) will tell you about is that a lot of the time, Chinese people don't understand sarcasm. Everyone has the stories about how they were trying to be smart and sarcastic, and how it completely goes over everyone else's head. That has lead to some awkward explanations, let me tell you. But something amazing happened today: I learned about Chinese sarcasm. Yes ladies and gentlemen, it does exist. You might be laughing at me right now, saying that "Sophie, it's a language. OF COURSE THERE IS SARCASM." But in my defense, when I have tried to use sarcasm, it just hasn't worked. So I was excited to have an informal Chinese lecture, that focused on sarcasm.

It's not quite the same as the sarcasm that we have in English. It's not nearly as intense as ours. You know what i mean. Sometimes, we can have full on conversations where everything said is sarcastic. Not in Chinese. It is definitely much more of an art. But still so much fun to learn about. Obviously, I have only just started, and obviously, you can't learn everything in a classroom, but hey, it's a starting point. I will take it.

BY THE WAY, in case you were curious, I got another hot shower this morning. I think that this is now three mornings in a row. I feel spoiled.

I have actually been in a surprisingly good mood for most of the day. During class, it was all laughter, jokes, and sarcasm, even during the informal debate that we have to have every day during our conversation class. I was feeling on top of the world. I love doing conversational Chinese, as it is both more useful and more interesting than formal Chinese. Not that the literature aspect of Chinese isn't important, obviously, but I don't like reading paragraph upon paragraph descriptions of the wind on the leaves in English, much less in Chinese. I would rather learn things that I can actually use in conversation. Maybe that is why they had this class today. Maybe they could tell that all of us needed a little pick me up.

My normal lunch place, which has been closed for a week, is still closed, so once again, I had to get creative. It's getting harder and harder, trust me. There is no place in our area that is close and has good food. It's like the two are mutually exclusive. Add cheap in there and well, you might as well be hoping for snow in the middle of the Beijing summer. NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.

I had a good talk with my teacher during our one on one class, during which we talked about our ideas for the future, and then it was off to the gym to see Jack. He was in a super good mood today. I think that he likes making me work so hard so that he can laugh at me as I collapse on the floor. I have noticed that no one else does that, but I really don't care. He also informed me that I am a pretty runner. I assumed that he meant if you see me from a distance, because I know for a fact that my face was tomato red, and we all know that that is not attractive. Still, good to know.

I think that I was still sore from the other day's work out, because I was struggling much more than I normally do. Some of the time, it's not even because my muscles are sore, but simply because I can't catch my breath, or my legs are shaking so badly that I can't do what I am supposed to be doing. When we were doing arms, it got to the point where I just couldn't move them, and I could feel my arm muscles clenching up. That is always a fun feeling. Jack would just say "No problem!" and we would keep going. There was one point where he put a bench behind the two ergo machines, made me put my fore-arms on the bench, a foot on either seat of the ergo, and then pull my feet (and the seat) up to the end of the ergo, by throwing my butt up in the air. I had to use my abs to get my butt in the air, and my legs to steady myself on seats that were designed to move quickly. It was bloody hard, and I had to do it 60 times (3 times, 20 times each.) Let me tell you, there were definitely breaks. But by the end of it, my legs were shaking so badly that I just decided it was better to stay on the floor for a little bit.

I spent the rest of my night doing my homework. That was when my mood turned not so happy. Not for any reason in particular; it's just because when I get tired, I get super grouchy, and I let things get to me that I normally wouldn't let get to me. It has this horrible snowball effect, which usually ends up with me just giving up on the day, and going to bed. It's really the only thing that I can do with myself when I get to this point. What is getting to me this time? Well, I am glad that you asked.

It is, surprise surprise, Chinese. But this is not my normal tape of not being good enough at Chinese. I don't know how much you know about the Chinese education system, but the majority of it is based on the absurd amount of memorization that each and every student is required to do. I don't know how they manage to memorize so much.

Our American education system, as you know, is not based on memorization and recitation. Don't get me wrong, I have a good memory, and it is easy for me to remember things (most of the time). This comes in handy when I want to study Chinese, or remember where to transfer subway lines. But I don't like to waste my time, and I certainly don't like to memorize things that I don't need to memorize, or that will not add to my over all happiness.

So here now is the clash of opinions. We have to memorize these truly horrible literature paragraphs, which describe, in vivid detail, the moonlight on leaves, among other things. It is part of our test on Friday, and we haven't even really gotten the assignment until tomorrow, Thursday. Fun stuff, right? This is my problem. I don't like wasting my time, and that is exactly what I feel like I am doing, by memorizing all of this. On the bright side, when I am next trying to seduce someone, I will just bust out some of these paragraphs, and I am sure that the result will be me holding them all off with a stick. Ask me what I learned in China when I get back. I'll show you how it's done.

So that is my night, up until now. As I am sure you have already guessed, I am about to put myself to sleep, because there is simply no living with myself when I get grouchy. This division of one person (thinking of myself as someone that I live with that annoys me occasionally) may seem like something that I should go see a professional about, but who has time for that?

Night night!

The Giggle Loop

Trivia for the day: If anyone can tell me what TV show the title if from, I will do absolutely anything you want. You will be my hero. And no checking on the internet. From the heart now, people!

And now, for my day. I woke up at 5:30, and I had already gotten the blankets halfway off before I realized that it wasn't actually 6:30, and that I was just being hysterical. It was surprisingly easy to go back to sleep. But when I did wake (for real this time) I got a hot shower. Two days in a row. I think that I must have done something karmically good, and the universe is finally smiling on me. Or maybe I have just been in China too long, and it is starting to affect my brain waves. That might be more likely.

Class was actually really interesting today, because, guess what? We have started reading literature. Finally. Well, I don't suppose you can actually call it literature. Well, what I mean is, my text book had a story from one of China's greatest writers, Lu Xun. So, it is proper literature, but it was in our textbook, so I don't really count it. But it was interesting. He wrote stories to try to wake the Chinese population up in the early 1900's. So most of his stories (actually, all of them) are very depressing. But it is proper literature. This is what I started learning Chinese for. And I feel extremely proud of myself. Granted, I had a word bank, but still. I did it. :)

Tuesday means Chinese tables. Lunch. I was so starving by lunch time that I was feeling lightheaded, and walking very quickly towards the restaurant. I was all excited for good Chinese food, in huge quantities, that someone else was paying for. So imagine my disappointment when we all walk into the restaurant, and there are individual plates of not so good Chinese food, swimming in oil. Yummy. But I'm not complaining. It is definitely better than the bread and butter that I normally have for lunch when I am in the States. And I finished eating early. Which is always a bonus. Well, not always. But right now, yes.

I spent the remaining hour of my lunch break trying to memorize the paragraph that I was going to be quizzed on in an hour. It was a paragraph describing Kong Yi Ji 's appearance (he is the character in the story that we read). Thank God I have a good memory. I must have looked like a complete fool as I was walking to class, saying the paragraph to myself. Ah well, a little crazy is a lot fun. Don't you agree?

I did make one tiny little mistake during my one on one class with my teacher today. I did the paragraph with not too much trouble, and then my teacher and I talked for a little bit. Then she looked at me and says "Now tell me about the author that you researched, and the book that you learned about." Huh. Right. WHAT???? That was basically my response. I had forgotten to look at the schedule. No one does! They always tell us what our homework is. So I missed this tiny little section. But this wasn't really homework, because we weren't being graded on it. But still. So that was my "What the Fuck" moment of the day.

After that, there was a short, 10 minute long practice for the HSK listening portion. Basically, they read us out questions from previous HSK tests, and then we have to answer them. It's practice, and completely optional. About 8 people came. We all sat down, eager and confident, and they started reading. We got to about question 3 before the laughter started. In this case, it was not happy go lucky laughter, but more of that desperate, hopeless laughter, the kind that says "As if I actually know what you are saying" and "there is no way that I am ever going to pass this test." Our teachers got mad at us for laughing too much. I don't want to think about the actual test. That is going to be painful. Surprisingly, I actually did better on the second half. That was when I figured that I should actually start really paying attention to the questions. And I did better. Funny how that works.

For the rest of the afternoon, I did my homework. Nope, no Jack today. Today is my rest day, thank god. I have actually forgotten what it feels like to walk, and not be in pain. I really do think that it is him helping me stretch that makes me sore, not the work out itself. That should say something about Jack, I think. I'll let you figure out what.

My homework. Here are the two paragraphs that I had to translate. I thought that they were special enough to post here:

"It was the winter of 1917, a strong north wind was blustering, but the exigencies of earning my living forced me to be up and out early. I met scarcely a soul on the road buy eventually managed to hire a rickshaw to take me to the South Gate. Presently the win dropped a little, having blown away the drifts of dust on the road to leave a clan broad highway, and the rickshaw man quickened his pace. We were just approaching the South Gate when we knocked into someone who toppled over.

It was a grey haired woman in ragged clothes, She had stopped out abruptly from the roadside in front of us, and although the rickshaw man had swerved, her tattered ragged waistcoat, unbuttoned and billowing in the wind, had caught on the shaft. Luckily the rickshaw man had slowed down, otherwise she would certainly have had a bad fall and it might have been a serious accident."

If the look on your face right now is a combination of disbelief, and laughter, and WTF, then have no fear, that was my reaction too. I'm going to be completely honest with you, I have absolutely no clue how on earth you say "unbuttoned and billowing in the wind." That's crap, that is. I mean, I can do a rough translation of this (with the help of a dictionary, of course) but it won't be pretty. These are literature paragraphs. They are supposed to be pretty, and flowing. Mine are definitely written by a foreigner. As it turns out, this is an English translation of a Chinese story, and our teachers want us to translate it so that tomorrow we can look at how it was actually written, and compare that to what we wrote. Just for funsies. Oh goody.

I have also spent some of the afternoon watching an exceedingly hilarious show called... well, I can't tell you, because that would be giving away the answer to my trivia question. But it is hysterical. I think that I actually may die from laughing from watching this show. It also has the horrible side effect of making me burst into laughter as I am walking down the street. If everybody didn't already think that I was the crazy foreigner... well, they certainly do now.

And now, it's that time of the night. I am going to bed. Check back tomorrow!

Monday Blues

I didn't have some crazy Chinese girl knocking on my door to wake me up this morning. That was a plus, at least. And I got a hot shower this morning. A legitimate hot shower. That never happens. I was feeling on top of the world. Well, not really, actually. I was more feeling like I was moving through soup. I swear, waking up before 7 during the summer is barbaric. At least, it is when you are an 18 year old (but not for much longer!) college student.

Class today was... well... I managed to keep my eyes open, anyway. I always feel so bad when I am falling asleep in class. It's not because I'm not interested. I am. And I want to listen. I want to jump into the conversation. But I just can't. All I can think about is going back to sleep.

It actually wasn't bad today. I mostly understood what was going on, and I knew the grammar, and I knew the words. It wasn't too bad. It even made me forget about the absolute horrible weather outside. It felt like it was about a million degrees, and it was humid. You could feel the smog clinging to your skin. It was not a happy feeling, I can tell you that right now. It actually made me happy to be in class, so that I didn't have to be outside.

I grabbed a quick lunch of a couple of bao zi, and went back to my room to rest. And to try to get some of my homework done. We had so much to do tonight, I just didn't want to leave all of it to do tonight. We had to write 2 small essays, do some grammar points, read a small essay, memorize 50 characters, and memorize a large paragraph to recite to our teacher tomorrow. So you can see why I wanted to get a head start on it.

After my last hour with just me and a teacher (I still haven't figured out an English name for that class. It's annoying) I dragged myself to an HSK preparation class. One of the teachers was giving a lecture for half an hour on how to take the test, so I went. I figured, why not? I should go, so I went. It didn't really look like any of us wanted to be there, but honestly, I think that we got brownie points for going. And besides, it was helpful.

I saw Jack tonight. Third day in a row. I was still a little bit sore from yesterday. I have even tried to send him a text earlier trying to cancel, but in typical fashion, he wouldn't let me. So I went. The entire hour was all stomach and arms. I was exhausted by the end of it, but oh so happy with myself. There were times where I couldn't actually do what he wanted my too, because i couldn't really move my arms. That's always a fun feeling. He makes me do things in sets of threes, for the record. At one point, he showed me how to do something, and then made me do it 15 times. I used all my strength trying to finish, and if I hadn't already been lying down, I probably would have collapsed. Then he looked at me and said, you have to do this twice more, 20 times each. I started laughing. Honestly, it was either laughing or crying. It's sad how often those two emotions pop up when you are working out. Or maybe it is just me.

There is something actually happy about feeling all of your muscles crying out in agony. Well, at least, I know that I will feel better tomorrow. Jack definitely warmed up. He started out a little bit grouchy, but I think he enjoys watching me suffer. In a nice way, of course. And I think he is happy that I am finally becoming "prettier". I have some issues still when he says this, but hey, we all have our own baggage. Maybe this is just his hangover from his childhood. I am fine as I am, thank you very much!

The rest of the night was spent crazily writing my homework, and spouting random sentences in Chinese that I sure as hell hop that I am saying right. I know that they are at least mostly correct. And I'll take it! I've fond that having all of this homework is actually making me a little bit grouchy. Yes, I know, I am supposed to be here to learn Chinese. And yes, I love learning Chinese, and I love working this hard to learn it. But let's be real here. This is my summer vacation. I am in China. I have less than 3 weeks left here. I probably won't be back here for years. And I can't go outside and enjoy it, because I am trapped inside, working on my homework, that I almost can't finish. Is it so bad for me to want to actually enjoy my summer? Apparently so. No wonder I get grouchy.

Good night all!

And Who Are You?

I'm going to be very very honest with you. This is not going to be a long blog. Nor is it going to be very interesting. You might be better off not reading it. But even though it is going to be boring, I am going to write it anyway.

So I may have lied. This weekend had two bad days. I stayed inside today doing my homework, because to be quite honest, I didn't do any of my homework yesterday. That meant that today, I had to do all of it. Read the text, write the story, memorize the cards. You know, the basics. And not to mention, I am so burned out from last week that I feel like I need the weekend to just stay inside and lick my wounds. So to speak.

I had a very interesting wake up experience this morning. I had just woken up, and was lying in bed, trying to disentangle the dream world and reality, when someone knocked on my door. It was 8:45 in the morning, so excuse me for not expecting anyone to be knocking on my door. I jumped out of bed and stumbled over to the door, completely not awake. When I opened up the door, there was a Chinese girl standing there, who waved at me and said hello. I had no idea who she was. When I asked her what she wanted, she said "Oh, didn't your teachers tell you? We are going." WHAT??? No, my teachers did not tell me.

When I asked her where we were going though, she said, I have no idea. WHAT???? I felt like I must have still been dreaming. To recap, she knocked on my door way too early, told me that we were leaving, but she didn't know where, and I have no idea who she is. When I asked her who she is, she just laughed at me, like she couldn't believe that I didn't know. That's when I got mad. She had woken me up, and was now talking to me in circles. When I asked her if she was looking for me, or for somebody, she got very vague and said she wasn't too clear. WHAT THE FUCK. I asked her if she was looking for the girl next to me, who has a name similar to me. That seemed to ring a bell. She walked next door and knocked on the door. She wasn't there, so the Chinese girl said sorry, and left. I closed my door, went back inside, and jumped back in bed. I figured that since I was already clearly dreaming, I might as well do it horizontally.

Honestly, the only thing interesting that happened to me today was that I caved in, and went to go see Jack. I am going to see him tomorrow as well. I am on a roll this weekend. I think that it is the stress. It went better today than it did yesterday. Today, it was mostly legs. Actually, it was just about all legs. I was hurting by the end of the session. And my head was spinning. This is starting to be a serious problem. I can't tell if it is because of the heat, because I am lifting too many weights, or because I am just a wimp. Who knows. Actually. I'm interested. Any guesses?

And that, ladies and gentlemen, was my day. I told you that it was going to be boring. I warned you. And now, I am going to bed. Goodnight!

The Bad Half

I can divide my weekend into two parts, most of the time. One day is the bad half of the weekend, and one day is the good half of the weekend. The bad half is the day that I stay homework, and do homework. The good half of the weekend is the day that I get to go out and do things. When I actually get to be social. Today was the bad half of the weekend.

I didn't plan for today to be the bad half. In fact, I actually had plans for today to be the good half. A lot of my friends were planning on going to Taiwan Street to just mess around, and I had originally wanted to go. But when I woke up at 9 this morning, I was so lazy, that I couldn't convince myself to even shower, much less get dressed and go out. So I respectfully bowed out of the outing, and instead stayed inside and decided to write my essay, make flash cards, and do whatever homework I have.

It didn't exactly work out like I had thought that it was going to. Sure, I got a hundred characters of my essay done, and I made flash cards, but that was about all the use that I was today. I won't admit to anything else. I have to maintain my cool mysterious mystic, you know. Very important. :P

I went out for a quick lunch of zhou (which is basically rice soup. Better than I make it sound.) I got a cold mango one, that tastes like mango mochi. It's like eating the main meal and dessert at the same time. Not very filling, but at least it isn't greasy and oily like most Chinese food. So much better than a kick in the head at least. And I can't get it in America, so I'm happy.

I went to go see Jack today at 4. There was basically no one in the gym. No one to witness my humiliation at least. I'll take it. I was super tired when i get there, but I figured, it's better than not going at all. This time, he didn't push me to muscle loss. I'll take what I can get. My problem is, I think that Jack thinks I am in better shape than I actually am, because recently, I have started feeling really sick by about halfway through the work out. I think that the weights I am lifting are too heavy or something, who knows. I only have so much energy in reserve, before I use it all up and start feeling sick. I just told Jack that I was having stomach problems recently, and used that as my excuse. At least, I think that is why.

The problem with this is that I will feel sick, and everybody knows, that once your stomach starts feeling weird, you can't do anything. Much less work out. It feels horrible. So I feel bad for not being able to work out properly. And I feel guilty. I feel like Jack thinks worse of me. Seriously, I think I have a serious problem with neurosis. I think I need to start telling Jack to go easy on the weights. And the stretching. Bloody hell, I almost hit him today. The one that hurts the most is when you push your legs as far out as they can go. And he just kept pushing. OUCH. I can handle pain, sometimes, but not when it feels like he is going to rip my muscles in half. That is not a comfortable pain at all. I didn't hit him though. I think that he was a little disappointed in me today, but that's easy for him to say when all he does is stand there and watch me suffer. I think that he has a bit of a sadist streak in him. He wanted me to come back tomorrow and the next day as well. I haven't decided if I want to or not. I think that that just might kill me.

I was happy just to sit and go on the internet for an hour after I got back from the gym. I wanted to stop sweating before I jumped in the shower. I wish that this gym was the kind of gym where you can just lay on the ground when you are done. Unfortunately, not so much .

Tonight, I had one more fun thing on the agenda. I had to meet my language partner downtown, and then we were going to walk over to Houhai and hang out for a bit. But I have a fun story. Just as I was leaving my dorm building, and walking over to the road to get a taxi, a Chinese guy walked up to me and started talking to me. Do you remember the story that I told about the guy that interrupted me when I was practicing with my language partner, and then started saying that you can't trust Americans? Same guy. He apparently didn't recognize me. He asked me if I was American, and then told me that he wanted to be friends. I made excuses, saying that I had to be somewhere right now, and that I had a lot of homework to do tomorrow. Then he asked me if I had a boyfriend, and when I said that I already did, he left me alone immediately. Creeper. He didn't even have any front teeth. Obviously, I don't have a boyfriend, but hey, what he doesn't know won't hurt him. My imaginary boyfriend comes in handy in cases like these. Little white lies and all that...

I was a couple minutes late meeting Qiao Xue (Beijing traffic is horrible. There are people EVERYWHERE) but once I finally met up with her, it wasn't a long walk to get to Houhai. Houhai is actually a pretty fun place to be. It's a bunch of bars surrounding a huge lake. A lot of people go swimming in the lake, or rent boats to drive around. When it gets dark, the lights reflect onto the lake, and it is beautiful. I'm not a huge fan of drinking, but it was nice to walk around, and look at the lights, and talk to Qiao Xue. She is such an awesome person. She is 22, and a third year student here at the Beijing Language and Culture University. She is a native Beijing person, out of the dorms and back at home for the summer. It was a good night. I bought a couple of hand made note books, but this area is so expensive that it just isn't worth buying a whole lot. I don't want to go broke. There were some really pretty clothes that I was so tempted by. But on reflection, it is a good thing that I didn't buy them. Sure, they were pretty, but they had so many colors and sparkles that there is absolutely now way that I would ever be able to wear it. It would just be one of those things that I would hang in my closet, and show off to my friends on the hanger every once in a while.

More on Houhai though. There are a lot of foreigners there in the bars, so it is super expensive. One interesting thing about the Chinese bars are that if you just walk by, people who work at the bars will come out, and follow you, trying to convince you to come and sit in the bar. It's hard to convince them that you just want to keep walking. They are extremely persistent. One followed my friend and I for 5 minutes, trying to convince us to come and have a drink with us. He was not good looking enough, we decided.

And now, I am listening to Radio Rounds, trying to write down my day before I forget it. I know that my day might sound boring to you, but it was perfect for me. I did exactly what I wanted to do, and there is something insanely satisfying about that. I can go to bed happy tonight. How often do you get to say that?

Thank God It's Friday

Thank god it's friday. What a perfect line. That includes every single emotion that people feel when you wake up on a Friday morning, and you think "This is the last push, and then it's home free to the weekend." That's what I thought this morning, anyway. I know, I know, it's Friday. And that means test day for me. But lets be real here. I couldn't have cared less about my tests today. It was the first week back at school after a week off to do my own thing, and it has been a hell of a week. So really, all I cared about was getting through the next five hours, and getting to the weekend. As far as the tests were concerned... well, my thinking in the morning is that if I don't know it by now, then I am not going to learn in the next half an hour.

The world was on my side this morning. I actually had hot water when I took a shower. And I mean hot water, not just body temperature luke warm water. I can't even tell you how excited I was. I almost didn't get out of the shower. ALMOST. That was the first sign that today was going to be a good day. I know what you are thinking. Hot showers in the morning? I am far too spoiled. What can I say, some people just walk in the light.

My test was actually not as hard as I thought it was going to be. I got a couple of the grammar points wrong, sure, but in my defense, they were not on our review sheet. How was I supposed to know that I was supposed to review them? Honestly people, work with me here! I finished early, and immediately put it out of my mind. No use whining over spilled milk, or whatever the phrase is. Onto bigger and better things! In this case, the bigger and better things included my speaking tests, which was 1) reading parts of my text to my teachers, and 2) giving a speech on my Social Studies project. The text part was first.

It actually didn't go as badly as I thought it was going to go. Maybe my Chinese really is getting better. My tones are horrendous though. It's hard to remember which character has what tone, and then to say them all very fast. It makes my head spin. I think it was better today than it normally is though. Well, at least I am moving in the right direction.

The speech part was a lot of fun. I listened to two of them (my classmates) before I was up. The two before me definitely had fun with it. One of them talked about comedy in Beijing (so that was obviously fun to listen to) and the other talked about trying to maintain the tradition of Beijing opera. I'm a little conflicted on my thoughts on Beijing opera, but it was still a good thing to listen to. The last student, who went after me, talked about the pollution in Shanghai, which was fun. Her conclusion was that Shanghai really is doing basically nothing to combat pollution. Take that Shanghai! I talked about Chinese medicine (obviously). I bored them to tears with a basic history of Chinese medicine, and then told them my story of going to the hospital to get acupuncture done. That woke them up a little. I think it has also made them think that I am completely insane. And I will be the first to admit, it is more than a little crazy. I hate needles, and yet I let someone stick 10 of them into my head. That is a contradiction for someone else to figure out. I'm too tired.

For Chinese tables we went to the local Muslim food restaurant, that is right on campus. It is actually pretty good food. However, the room we were in did not have enough air conditioning, and held way too many people. Needless to say, we were all sweating rivers by the end of the meal. Attractive, no? But the food was good. Really good. I ate way too much. (In fact, at dinner time, I was still so full from lunch that I just skipped dinner. Jack would be proud. I think.) After eating myself into a food coma on meat and veggies (and their lovely lovely nan...) I dragged myself back to my room, and put on a good movie. Good movie meaning Avatar, obviously. What else is a girl going to do on a Friday afternoon in a smog infested city?

I met up with my language partner tonight. My new one. The old one left without ever saying goodbye. Well, good riddance. I like the new one better anyway. Her name is Qiao Xue. Super nice. I feel like I hit the language partner jack pot. When I met up with her tonight, there was obviously the awkward moment where neither one of us knew what to say or what to do, but as soon as we started walking down towards the shops, things started getting better. We walked around one of the malls for a bit, and then I actually ended up heading over to the DVD store, which was, conveniently, right around the corner from her house. We rode the bus over there together, chatting the whole way. Like I said, language partner jackpot.

I was parched (I love that word. You never have the chance to use it in normal conversation) when I got off the bus, so I headed over to what used to be my favorite juice shop, right outside my old Chinese high school. While I was waiting for my drink, this Chinese lady came in, looked at me, ordered a drink, and then asked my if I spoke Chinese. I told her that I spoke a little bit. We started talking. As it turns out, she is a teacher in the US, and she knows the head of the Chinese department in Vermont. We walked across the street together, talking about Chinese, and then she invited me over to her house for dinner. I'm pretty good at carrying a conversation, but I am not entirely sure if I am comfortable with going to a strangers house for dinner. I feel like that would be super awkward. I think that this may just be a cultural thing though. It's not that I don't trust her, or that I feel uncomfortable around her: she was super friendly, and I completely believe that she was just trying to be nice. I just didn't want to go to her house right at that moment. So I made some flimsy excuses, gave her my phone number, and told her that we would get in touch later. We'll see what happens. What do you think? I am interested.

I obtained some articles of entertainment at my favorite DVD store (as this was part of my excuse) and headed back home. It was 95 degrees outside, after all. I was sticky and sweaty, and desperately in need of a cold bottle of water. And it is way too hot to be outside. Obviously, the only solution is to stay inside until the weather decides to cooperate. I may be here for a while.

And now, i am sitting in my room, having just finished a movie, listening to Radio Rounds and writing my blog for all you lovelies to read. I have to go to bed soon though, the words are starting to blur together on the page. That is never a good sign. Good night all!

Top of the World

I suffer from mood swings. Really bad ones. One day, I will be totally fine, living my life with absolutely no problems. The next day, when I wake up, I am in a huge funk, that no one can drag me out of. The only solution is for me to go to bed again, and try again tomorrow. Unfortunately, this huge mood swing means that I start taking it out on my friends and family. I'm sorry, all of you guys. I really don't mean to. But I appreciate all that you put up with. Especially you Mom. You put up with an amazing amount of my neurosis.

This was my world for the past two days. This is also the reason why I didn't write a blog yesterday: I don't want to remember how I felt yesterday. Mood swings are just that bad for me. But I am better now.

I wasn't awake by any stretch of the imagination this morning. I was on autopilot when I was getting ready, and I spent way too much effort trying to keep my eyes open. But I could still pay attention to what was happening in class, and contribute to the conversation. Actually raising my hand and voluntarily making a statement is not something that I am used to doing here, but I did it today. I gave myself a mental pat on the back. That was the beginning of my day, and it only got better. My "on top of the world" feeling only grew and grew through the rest of the day. But this first lecture was a very good start to my day. I felt confident, and happy.

When we got to the smaller practice class, there was a new challenge: we had to teach the class. Each of us had been divided according to a certain paper that we had to read, and each of us had to teach a paragraph or two to the class, for 10 minutes. I don't know about you, but I really don't like being the teacher. All of the teachers were excited, because they got to be the "students" for a while, but I know that I speak for most of us actual students when i say that we were not nearly as excited as they were. Not to mention the fact that while we were teaching, we taught a lot of the words and grammar wrong. When I was teaching, I was not at all calm; in fact, I was super nervous. I had to fake (for 10 minutes) that I knew exactly what I was talking about, and I knew how to teach other people. It actually was a lot of fun. Well, it was a good experience at least. And my class was pretty awesome, all the people know how to have a good time. I can understand why the teacher wanted us to do this. I paid SO much more attention to our homework (because I had to prepare words) than I normally do. And it was a nice change of pace.

My normal place to eat lunch has been closed for a week, which is throwing a huge crank in my schedule. I went to a Zhou restaurant for lunch yesterday (zhou is a rice soup thing that you put things in to add flavor: I got a cold mango one. It tasted like mango mochi, and was completely amazing.) Today, I was not nearly as creative. I just walked around the corner of the school and bought some baozi for lunch. Yummy. Not good if you eat them every day, but good for a little oily carbo treat every once in a while. Guess what the rest of my lunch break consisted of? If you guessed going back to my room and having a cup of tea while trying to rest, then you would be right. I know. I am predictable. I like to think that it is one of my better qualities. Sometimes.

Today my one on one class was super helpful. I had one of my favorite teachers as my person today, and all that we did was go over grammar for tomorrows test, and talk about Beijing. But going over the grammar was a major help. I felt like I had already done most of my studying by the time that we were done, and I understood all of it. What more could you want? I felt like nothing could bring me down. It's so weird how I go from one extreme to the other. Maybe it's just because I am a girl. Who knows. But I am quite enjoying this feeling of confidence. Hopefully, it will last.

The head of our program invited a nationally renowned Chinese tone teacher to come talk to us today. Basically, every book in China that talks about teaching tones to foreigners was written by this woman. She is amazing. She came to talk to us for an hour. (I was actually required to go, because my tones are just that bad. I'm so glad I was though.) She was an amazing teacher. I wish that I had the time and opportunity to talk with her one on one. I feel like I would be speaking like a Chinese person after a week. She broke down the tones and the characters, and showed us exactly how to pronounce words, how to say them, and when to pause in a sentence. And she made it interesting! I didn't mind sitting in the same spot for an hour, saying the same words over and over again, trying to fix problems that most people can't even distinguish. I totally ate it up. However, even though hearing her talk, and describe the Chinese tones was a huge help, it also made me realize just how far I still have to go, and how bad my tones really are. I can fool myself every day by speaking really fast, but when I get down to it, I still have a ways to go. But I certainly don't care. I love learning Chinese. This is the kind of thing that I paid for. This is what I want to do.

And of course, when learning how to speak Chinese, you always need some practical applications. And I can say that that is one of my reasons for seeing Jack. Tonight was another session. Thankfully, he didn't immediately push my arms to muscle failure. I don't think I ever hit that point tonight. But it was hard. It was a lot of long reps with not as much weight, so it just weighed down on me. And unfortunately, I hadn't eaten since noon, and it was now 6 o'clock. Which, when you are lifting weights, is not a good idea. I held on for a little while, and felt really good, and then I started to feel really bad. My head floated up to the clouds, and started spinning out of control. When you are holding 20 pounds above your head, and trying to do lunges, it is normally preferable to have your head firmly on the ground, thank you very much. So I had to keep stopping, not because I was tired, but because if I didn't, I was going to fall over. I told Jack that I was fine, but I thin that he knew I was not doing so well. He went easy on me for the last 15 minutes. Hopefully my next session will go better with him. I still got a good work out today, but I wasn't feeling so hot.

I got dinner with some friends who I randomly bumped into at the gym, and then came back to my room to study for my test tomorrow. And that is what I have been dong up until now, when I heard the call to write a blog. I am not too worried for my test tomorrow. It should be easy. The grammar is not as hard as it has been in the past, and for once in my life, I have actually memorized the characters. Knock on wood. Wish me luck!

My Own Personal Marathon

For the record, I don't mean marathon as in a the running race. Although I would love to run in one one day. But I have the feeling that if I tried anything of the sort in the near future, it just might kill me. No, in this instance, I simply mean my day. The whole 24 hours (which, if you think about it as a mile per hour, is almost a marathon...) Well, actually, my day lasted from about 6:30 AM to 10:30 PM, so not exactly 24 hours, but you know what I mean. Work with me here.

I almost fell back asleep this morning after my alarm went off. I thought I had for one horrible moment, but jumping out of bed and running for the shower. Well, not running so much as stumbling along with my eyes closed. It takes me quite a while to wake up in the morning. I do what I can to get ready in the morning .

I was so much more tired today than I was yesterday. It was all that I could do to just keep my eyes open. Trying to actually follow what was going on in the first was was so much harder. My teacher asked me a question at one point, a question that I most definitely knew the answer to, but my brain just couldn't process fast enough for me to answer. I love feeling like an idiot. NOT. It makes me frustrated as hell. No wonder I have to go to the gym so much. Blow of steam much?

The funniest part was, every single person in my class was feeling the exact same way. As soon as class finished, about half of the heads in the room dropped onto desks, and everyone just groaned. It was actually pretty funny.

The remainder of my school day passed a lot like that. My own personal marathon. My brain was not clear, my head was not in the game, but I stayed in class. No other choice, really. I felt like a hero, myself. There is nothing worse than having to act completely normal when all that you want to do is jump back in bed and go to sleep.

Lunch time was dominated by Chinese tables for language practice, after which I went upstairs to my room immediately to relax. There is nothing like a cup of tea to perk up your spirits. I rallied myself for another hour of class, and headed off.

I can't put a lot of details in about today. Partly because I don't want to, partly because I don't know who reads this, and partly because I feel like I was walking through a haze for a large part of the day. All three of those reasons make for a very uninteresting blog. Added to the fact that right now, as I am writing this, I am completely exhausted. My bad. It's just been one of those days.

We watched a movie called 活着 (To Live) today. I don't know if you have seen it. It's a Chinese movie about a family during the Cultural Revolution. It was a tough movie. At the end of it, most of the people that you started out with at the beginning of the movie are dead (spoilers!) Just when you got used to the new hardships of life, something else comes out of the blue. In the end, you were starting to guess who would die, simply by guessing whose death would shake up the story the most. Everyone walked out after seeing that movie, all with the same expression on our faces. That expression? WHAT THE FUCK.

The rest of my night was spent doing my homework (only a page and half of text, and 20 new words. Score!) and relaxing. I didn't get back from the movie until 6, so in my defense, spending a couple of hours doing nothing is perfectly acceptable. And now, I am off to bed. I'll get my blog mojo back soon, I promise.

晚安！Goodnight!

One Ends and Another Begins

I woke up at 5:30 this morning (the first time) absolutely convinced that it was 6:30, and I had slept past my alarm. I was even starting to drag myself out of bed and everything, before I realized that I should probably check the clock on my phone first. You know, just to be safe. When I saw the time, I thought that I must still be dreaming. And as such, I needed to go back to sleep, immediately.

When I woke up at 6:30, I thought that I was still dreaming. Again. I couldn't believe that I was actually waking up, for realsies. At 6:30 in the morning. This marked the end of my week long vacation. To my woe and dismay, it's time to go back to work. For the record, work is completely over-rated. Seriously. Whoever decided that we should all study until we die was very very stupid.

Guess what I got this morning? A cold shower. Surprise surprise. Apparently the hot water takes a little while to wake up as well. (I got a hot shower this afternoon. So I live in a place with moody hot water. Lovely.) There was also no internet connection. I may or may not be a little bit addicted to the internet. I was not happy.

Surprisingly, I was not all that tired when I was sitting in class today. I guess I am just well rested from last week. Outstanding. That's just the kind of consequence that I like to have. We are reading this text that is from the scar literature point of time in China, as a reaction to the Cultural Revolution. So it was very fluffy and cheesy. And so so silly. Honestly, it almost gives me a stomach ache.

We have a new kind of class now. Instead of having two small grammar classes, each an hour long, we now have one small grammar class, and an even smaller speaking class. Today was the first time that we have had the speaking class (we are also supposed to use it to practice for our HSK test. That is not going so well.) It was hard. It was fun, but still hard. I have a hard time speaking sometimes, and when it is on the fly, trying to use our grammar and new words. Bloody hell, I feel like I have a million things running through my head all at the same time. But I guess that is what you sign up for when you try to learn a new language.

Lunch got a little bit interesting. My normal place was closed, so I had to go to my hotel's restaurant to get take away food. It took me an hour to get my food. AN HOUR. I was ready to scream. I had to tell myself very strongly not to lose my cool. But I got my food. Eventually. And headed back off to our class building for my one on one class. Ah, the glamorous life of a summer school college student. It's okay, you can tell me. I know that you are jealous.

During my one on one class with my teacher, we had a good old bonding session over our shared love of detective and fantasy, and alien movies/ TV shows (such as Doctor Who and Lord of the Rings.) It was fun. I promised her that I would bring my Lord of the Rings ring to class tomorrow to show her. Yes, I am a nerd. Deal with it.

I studied until it was time for me to GO TO THE GYM! SCORE! Time to find Jack again. I've been having a serious problem with my clothes recently. Not that they keep falling off or anything. THAT would be awkward. No, my problem is that I don't have enough gym clothes, and they all start smelling really bad really fast. I've been having to get creative. This may call for a shopping trip this weekend.

Jack was in a super good mood tonight. He was joking around non stop. While helping me stretch (to the point of me wanting to hurt him back, that's how much it hurt. He just laughed) he told me that as long as I kept stretching, I would basically be a beast. I'm just going to have to trust him, I guess. But even though he was in a good mood tonight, that didn't stop him from trying to kill me. There were so many lunges. Way too many. I didn't think I was going to be able to walk down the stairs to get back home. And then there were the calf exercises. OUCH. I felt tingly feelings going all up and down my legs as soon as I was done. Oh man. I am going to have a hard time walking around tomorrow. Thank god for elevators.

Jack was also going on and on about his massages tonight. That is the only English word that he uses. Massage. It's excellent. He asks me how his massages are, and then when he saw the marks on my back from the cupping, he told me, in a joking way, that he wanted to go there to learn how to give a better massage. I assured him that he didn't need to. That is seriously the best part about me going to the gym. It also makes me wonder if there is any possible way that I could rope someone into giving me a massage after a workout in America. I'm not going to hold my breath though. (However, if you want to volunteer, you know how to contact me!)

There are some things Jack told me that I can't write here, because, like I said, I don't know who is reading this. No, nothing sexual. Just things that would make for awkward conversation as soon as I get home. Use your imagination.

One last thing about Jack. Before we even starting working out, he asked me if I had eaten already. I said no. Then he asked me if I was going to eat afterwards. My response was something along the lines of DUH. I am a human, eating is something that I happen to like to do on occasion. Then, he asked me me to just eat a banana and an apple for dinner tonight. Only one of each. In order to lose weight, he says. I'm going to start telling him that he is fat, see how he likes it.

Only one other thing of interest happened tonight. (I mean, I went to get my homework checked, but that wasn't interesting.) No, my new language partner came to my room to meet me tonight. I was in my sweats, with my hair up and glasses on, so needless to say, I was not feeling particularly glamorous. But it was nice to meet her. My room was a complete mess (which I warned her about) but I don't think that she believed me. She seemed shocked as soon as she walked in and actually saw the mess. I was embarrassed. Should have listened to my mother and cleaned my room. Yes, I did just put that in writing. My mistake.

It was nice to talk to her. She is very friendly, much more friendly than my last language partner. This one actually wants to be a teacher, so I think she had a much better view of foreigners than the last one. And I think that this one actually wants to talk to me, and isn't just in this for the money. She is a third year student, studying Chinese as a Foreign Language. I am actually really excited to see her again. Hopefully we can go out for dinner or something this weekend.

And that was my day. My week of relaxation has ended, and the last four weeks of studying have begun. But I am actually excited about it. It's nice to be studying again, to be pushing myself to do the best that I can do. To be studying again. I'm happy when I am working hard. I think that I am a masochist like that. On well. I suppose all the best people in the world are either crazy, or masochists. I think that I am a little of both.

And with that lovely thought...

Live long and prosper!

The Foreigners' Curse

I bet you have hot showers all the time, don't you? Every time you turn the shower on, hot water comes out. It's not something that you have to cross your fingers and hope for. I can see you smiling at the computer, I know what's up. Well, you are all lucky. I am not a member of the exclusive "Always have hot water" club. All of last week, I only had luke warm showers. There is something to be said about hot water for mental health. It can completely wake you up and get you ready for the day in the morning, or it can calm you down and get you ready for bed at night. Hot showers keep me sane. Thankfully, I my hot shower numbers have finally started to increase, meaning that I actually have hot water again. It's a miracle.

Well, this morning, it was only luke warm. But still. It gives me a reason to move more quickly in the morning, so I am not freezing my ass off for quite so long. And this morning, I had a reason to get out the door quickly: Beijing Dirt Market.

No, it's not a market that sells dirt. Wouldn't that be silly. No, it's the biggest outdoor flea market in Beijing. It's huge, and a complete rip off. True, there are a lot of foreigners there, but a lot of Chinese people there to actually do some serious purchasing. It is completely massive, and you can get anything you want there. Jade, wooden statues, books, posters, vases, tables... it has everything. I went there once last year when I was living here, and I had a great time. It also happens to be a great place to pick up presents for people back home. Yes, all of you, I now have presents. You know who you are.

I left my room at 9:45, planning to get there at about 10:30. I went on my own, because everyone else was working on writing their paper. Never have I been so happy that I finished that paper on Thursday. As it turns out, the trip took way longer. I was taking the subway, and it took me an hour. AN HOUR. Of riding a Beijing subway. They are actually very nice, the subways. Very clean, and air-conditioned. Well, most of them are, anyway. Just boring. And some of the people on the subway smell like they don't shower very much. Lovely.

Not to mention the fact that it was batshit hot today, and I had to wear a sleeve shirt because of the cupping bruises. Getting out of the subway, and walking 15 minutes to the Dirt Market was not a happy time for me. I just kept telling myself not to think about the sweat. Maybe, just maybe, I can imagine it away. There's a first for everything, right?

I fully intended to enjoy myself once I got to this market, and I definitely did. I walked around, looking at all the stalls, and brushing off the sales people who tried to grab me and drag me to their stalls to buy things. I wanted to look around first, and not buy anything and regret it later. Unfortunately, I didn't last for long. My first purchase? A small wooden monkey figurine. So cute. Second purchase? String of pearls and a Buddha statue. And so on. Every girl has to have a string of pearls, right? I whole-heartedly agree.

I bought other stuff as well. Don't think I stopped there. And now onto the reason behind the title. Here in China, whenever you buy anything (well, almost anything) you have to haggle. If you are a foreigner, the price doubles. If you are a foreigner and you don't speak Chinese, well, then the price quadruples. I can speak Chinese, so I don't get ripped off quite as bad, but still. The prices that I pay would probably make any other Chinese person cry. Well, maybe not cry, but get depressed at least. But the kicker is that Chinese people are not even ashamed of this fact. When you are haggling, Chinese people will tell you that the price is already low, because I can speak Chinese. They will freely admit that the fleece unsuspecting foreigners on a regular basis.

Today was no different. Looking back on all my purchases, I definitely spent too much. Not as much as it would have cost in me in America, probably, but still. Too expensive. I did my best to haggle, but when trying to stand up to professionals such as these sellers, I just don't stand a chance. My best just is not good enough.

When I got home, I was tired, hungry, and covered in sweat. Needless to say, all that I wanted to do was grab a quick lunch, and head back to my room for the rest of the afternoon. And just relax. Possibly shower. But definitely be in the air conditioning, and gloat over my new purchases (conveniently forgetting the prices that I paid for them). So I read my textbook, did my homework, watched a movie, and read. And it was just the day that I wanted. I was absolutely and completely happy with myself. I had gone out in the morning, and come back to relax for the rest of the afternoon. For once, I was content. It is a rare feeling for me, believe me.

At 7:30, I had one more appointment to keep. I had to go meet my teacher to go over my essay that I wrote for Social Studies project. And boy, there was a lot of small editing to be done. Not huge problems, as she said that I expressed myself well, more just problems that have to do with me translating things from English into Chinese. We spent an hour going over it, before the head of our program, Feng Laoshi, came over to chat with us. He grabbed my essay, and read it, while my teacher kept working on it with me, using my computer.

I was super nervous while he was reading it. Bloody hell, he is the head of our program. I get to be nervous. But he liked it. He said that I expressed myself well, and it was mostly well written. And he thought it was interesting. I was insanely happy. He asked me a couple of questions about when I had gone to get acupuncture and cupping done, and then proceeded to talk to me about Chinese medicine, and his own experience with it. It was a pretty amazing conversation. There are some miracle stories about Chinese medicine, honestly. He had a bone spur in his foot, and with Western medicine, it was going to take 5 years to fix. But with Chinese medicine, it took him a week. And even though it was in 2000, he still has no problems. It's things like that that make me believe. I don't really know what I think about Chinese medicine still, but I am starting to believe in it. It definitely has some help, I think.

And that, my friends, was my Sunday. My last day of freedom before going back to class. Time to go back to reality.

Jack's Back!

I have this chronic problem where I never know what I want to do. I always think, what SHOULD I do. You would think that doing what I want to do would be easy, but for me, it never has been. That was one of my big problems today.

Because I had already sent off my essay to my teacher so that she could help me edit it, I didn't feel like there was a whole lot of studying that I needed to do today. Sure, I could read my text and work on my new words, but why do today what you can put off until tomorrow? I agree.

I woke up late, so it took me a little while to get going. By the time that I felt like I was ready to join in with the rest of the world, it was already 11. Then, because I thought that I was supposed to be meeting with my teacher around lunch time to discuss my essay, I kept hanging around, waiting for a phone call. I called my mom, talked to people on facebook. You know, all the usual things us college kids do to kill time. For lunch (when I finally decided to leave my room) I decided to try a new place. There is a western restaurant on campus that I haven't had a chance to try yet, so I decided to use today as a first time. When I got there, I ordered a ham and cheese sandwich. I wasn't expecting wonders (after all, this is China) but still, it was below my expectations. The sandwich was cold, it was packaged ham, cheese, and there was ketchup on it. Yum. I ate it though. Better than a kick in the head. And it was kind of fun to have western food again. Speaking of which, I would absolutely kill for a piece of pizza. KILL.

After lunch, because it was a relatively good day outside, I decided to go for a walk, in search of my favorite red bean paste bao. They are so yummy. The bao bread and easy sweetness of red bean paste make for both a great meal, and a good dessert. Yum. Unfortunately, my little bao place said that they didn't have any, and never did. Which I know is a lie, because I have bought some there before. Oh well. I will catch them in the act again one of these days. You'll see.

Walking back, I hit a jackpot. No, I did not buy a bunny, although I saw some, and desperately wanted to buy one. I also passed a cart selling stuffed animals, and saw the cutest monkey, but no, I didn't buy that either. Can't go crazy now. No, I bought books. What can I say, books are my weakness. Honestly, I should just drag someone around with me who is willing and capable to hold my wallet hostage until we are at least 100 feet away from any one, or any place selling books. I have no willpower. So today, walking down the road, I passed a cart selling books (actually, I passed many, but I finally stopped at one. They all sell the same books anyway) and I stopped to browse. I decided on the complete works of Sherlock Holmes (I have been meaning to read them, and I anticipate finishing my current book soon) and the original Chinese version of 红楼梦 (Dream of the Red Chamber). Have you heard about it? It's very famous in China, one of the Four Great Classical Novels. I don't anticipate being able to fully understand it any time in the near future, but I am going to do my very best. Dictionary in hand, I intend for this to be my next big challenge.

On my way back to campus, after buying these 4 books (both Sherlock Holmes and Dream of the Red Chamber were 2 book sets, and I got the whole thing for $9.59: still pretty expensive, but better than in America) I hit on another jackpot: ice cream cones! Let me tell you, I was feeling very white at this point, but who cares? I am only here for another 4 weeks. I'll do whatever the hell I want to do. So, walking back to campus with 4 books in my bag, and a chocolate and strawberry ice cream cone in my hand, I felt on top of the world. Now if only all the smog would just disappear...

The rest of my afternoon was not interesting enough to describe. But guess what I did at 6? Look at the title of this blog. That's right, I WENT TO GO SEE JACK! Finally. Can't tell you how excited I was to see him, and actually get a proper work out. I feel like going to the gym is kind of like my re-set button: my brain gets so tired, that when I recover, I feel good as new. It keeps me sane, let me tell you. Today, Jack didn't disappoint. He said he had a good time visiting his family, and then we got right down to business. And it was hard. Bloody hell. By the end of it, my head was spinning, my stomach was upset, and I was dripping sweat from my entire body. I know, lovely picture, right? I have discovered that when it comes to working out, I don't really know how to pace myself. I kind of just give it my all until it is over, or I collapse, whichever comes first. That is probably the reason why I always feel sick; it's definitely the reason why I go lie on the bathroom floor after I row. Today, same thing. Oh well. I guess I will learn, in time.

Jack was also up to his usual tricks. First, he asked me (while I was getting my post work out massage) if I had eaten dinner yet. When I told him that I hadn't, he said good. Then he said, "Just eat fruit tonight, okay? It will help you lose weight." Thanks a lot, Jack. I've gone a week without hearing that, I was just starting to get used to it. I had to beg him to let me eat meat. Well, I had to prod him a bit for his consent. But honestly, I was hungry. Whatever I want to eat at night, I will eat. Jack's consent or no.

After the gym, I bought my obligatory fruit, and then headed back to my room to quietly die. JUST KIDDING. If i had died, I wouldn't be here writing, would I? Nope. I showered, and headed out again. Where was I going, you might ask? Off to get a massage, of course! What else would I do on a Saturday night in Beijing? And if you value your life, don't answer that. I don't want to know. I was on my own for a massage tonight, because Grace had already made plans, but that didn't stop me. When I got there, my friendly Inner Mongolian man was waiting to give me a massage. As he was working, I listened to everyone else talking. There was another foreigner next to me who was getting a massage, and it sounded like she was either really not used to Chinese massages (as in, they hurt) or she was getting a happy ending. But since her massage person used to be a monk, I am going to go with the first option. For many, many reasons.

My massage person was super chatty. He is a lot of fun, always asking questions and making conversation. He asked me when my birthday way, and told me that on my birthday if I come in, they will give me a cake. Too bad I am going to be in America for my birthday though. No problem, he says, I will come to America! Apparently, he likes to party. This should be interesting. When posed with the problem of how he would get to America, he simply said that he would run really fast. Right. Good luck with that. Then he tried to set me up with one of the other massage guys. Awkward! He was kind of cute, but shit son, I think i can find my own men. We moved past that little conversation rather quickly.

They also told me that my legs are very muscular, and then I am pretty sure that they started to compare me to a turkey. Well, they compared my legs to a turkey. I think that that was their idea of a compliment, saying that I have strong legs. Still. I was not overly enthused.

I did a stupid thing next. I know I said I wouldn't do it again, but I did. My lower back was hurting a lot from working out, so I got cupping done. Again. As I was lying there with 18 cups suctioned onto my back, I couldn't for the life of me remember why I had thought that it was a good idea. It definitely hurt more this time than it did last time. But I can handle it. Pain is beauty, right? Well, at least, comfort. In the future. I am planning ahead.

I know that it sounds crazy, but it actually did work. After 10 minutes, as soon as the cups came off, my back didn't hurt anymore. Yes, I now have massive bruises all over my back that are only going to get worse, but hey, I can handle it. No pain no gain, right? It's not too bad. Besides, my back definitely does feel better.

And now, I am sitting in my room, writing, and watching the Crossfit Games. And i must go to bed soon. Love you all!

The Miracle of Sweat

Alright. I'll admit it. I can try to deny it all that I want, but there is just no escaping reality: I haven't been to the gym in two days. *GASP* I know, it's a travesty. But it's so hard to motivate myself when I am working out by myself, and not really knowing what I am doing. So I put it off. Bad mistake.

I knew something was out of whack when I woke up this morning. You know how when you wake up, the first thing you do is look around, and then start to think? Well, when I wake up, I also do a mental test. Head? check. Body? check. Have to make sure everything is still functioning, and that I haven't completely lost my marbles when I was asleep. It can happen, you know.

Well, everything wasn't exactly smooth sailing. I was more than a little touchy. It's just how I get when I don't exercise. All the stress gets to my head, and makes me neurotic. So, after some stern advice from my mother, I took myself off to gym. There is something absolutely fantastic about working out, so that your entire body is covered in sweat. I ran, hard, for half an hour, before hitting the weights, and eventually, the rowing machine. And it was glorious. Walking back to my room, I was covered in sweat, exhausted, and completely happy. It wasn't as hard of a workout as I would have liked, but hey, it was better than just sitting on my ass all day. And it gave me clarity of mind that I desperately needed. Finally, back to normal.

But then it was back to business. I had to call one of my teachers friends to interview her about Chinese medicine. She's a fourth year Chinese med student, studying with her teacher right now in Tianjin, a city a couple hours northeast of Beijing, on the coast. She gave me some good tips on what i should write, and some good info on both the history of Chinese medicine, and some of the uses. Some of my questions, however, she refused to answer, because she said that the answer would be too indepth, so she wasn't even going to bother.

For the rest of the afternoon, I finished writing my paper, and using my last couple of free days to relax. I finally finished my paper, by the way. Well, finished it enough for now, anyway. 2000 characters, 500 characters over the requirement. I think that that deserves a pat on the back, if I do say so myself. I sent it off to my teacher so that she could help me edit it. I have no idea when I am going to be getting it back.

And that was my day. I'm sorry that I am such a boring person. Hang in there.

Veggie

I seem to have found myself in this odd position where I am always one day behind on my blogs. I always write yesterdays blog today, if that makes any sense. Talk about being lazy.

Guess who finished her paper yesterday? That's right, me. 1500 characters. And I still have more to write, and I still have to edit it. Sometimes, i surprise even myself. I never thought that I would be able to finish it. I didn't think that I would have enough to write, or that I would have the willpower to sit down and actually write it. I get bored easily, so sue me. There is still time though. This weekend, the plan is to edit it. Lovely lovely.

I spent most of my yesterday writing my paper, and watching movies. Maybe it wasn't the most effective plan, but it works. I got it done. My paper actually was not as hard to write as I thought it was. As soon as I finished the background and history part of it, and got onto the story part, it was smooth sailing. My biggest problem was using the grammar and words that we have learned in class. Obviously, we are supposed to use our newly learned grammar, but it's hard to apply grammar to stories when said grammar most commonly used for economics and world problems. I'm not a magician!

The weather was absolutely wretched today. It rained on and off, and the smog plus the rain made the air so bad that buildings even 20 feet away seemed distant and impaired. Needless to say, I stayed inside. Sure, I could have gone to a tourist spot to see the sights, but it wouldn't have been beautiful, and it would have just been a chore that I would have to do, not something that I wanted to do.

When dinner time rolled around, I had big plans. Originally, I was going to get a massage and cupping, and then go out to dinner, but because I wanted to wear a backless dress to dinner, I decided to hold off on the cupping. Can't go walking around in a backless dress with sucker marks on my back. That's not attractive at all. And I would probably be sent to social services as the victim of domestic violence.

I never get to get dressed up, and wear pretty clothes, so it was fun to have an excuse, the first one in a long time. My friend Grace and I were going out to what is supposed to be the best vegetarian restaurant in Beijing. And it was amazing. It took us a little while to find (we were in the right building, but we just didn't know where the restaurant was.) But once we found it, it was amazing. It had a Buddhist feel to it. When we walked in, one of the serves poured rose water into our hands, so that we could wash them. These servers were amazing to look at. Even though it was a very zen and beautiful place, the servers outfits were wearing these amazing silver sparkly dresses, with white pants underneath. I can't imagine who thought that that was a good idea.

It only got ritzier as the night went on. We were seated in this 1900 esque wooden box basically. But it was special. It was elaborately carved, and fit for a queen. It was like an escape from the rest of the world, and we got to sit in it. On the wall was an old fashion picture of some high up aristocratic woman. Talk about a flash to the past. Opium Wars, anyone?

Our plates were abalone shells (I probably fake, but good fakes) on a lotus leaf as the place mat. Talk about fancy. Grace and I weren't even sure if we were allowed to use them, but we did anyway. Why not.

I normally don't like eating only vegetarian, but I swear, I don't mind anymore. The food was absolutely incredible. They gave us these huge menus(they were 3 feet long and a foot wide. I kid you not. Huge.) to pick our tea and dinner from. Tea first, dinner second. There was one tea that was $206 for a pot (well, at least you could refill it for free.) And no, I did not write that wrong. 206 dollars. It must the best tea in the whole bloody world.

Right. The food. The menu was so extensive that it took me a while to decide what I wanted. Grace and I decided that we would each order two plates. That should be enough (as it turns out, it was almost too much. They had generous helpings.) I got pumpkin soup and a spinach and yam dish. The soup was the best that I have ever had. It tasted like coconut and pumpkin soup, and it was to die for. Seriously. I would push over old ladies to get to it. LOVE. The yam and spinach was pretty good, but I think they substituted taro in the for the spinach. I still haven't decided if I liked it or not. Good enough, I suppose.

Grace ordered a tofu dish that tasted like miso soup. Heaven. For one of the very few moments in my life, I actually enjoyed eating tofu. Shocker, I know. We also got a bamboo and noodle dish (that was a little sour and a lot spicy, and surprisingly good) and a glutinous rice ball to share. Topped off with our tea, it was definitely a meal to remember. As soon as I have the pictures, I will post them on here. My description doesn't do it justice. It was the best meal that I have had in Beijing. And it was certainly the most impressive. This is one of those places that you bring friends when you want to shock the pants off of them. Or maybe a date. :O

At the end of the meal, after the waiters cleared the tables, they brought us a complimentary platter of watermelon. But they put in a jar that, when they brought it to us, was overflowing with smoke (the kind that comes off dry ice, not cigarette smoke). I don't know how they did it, because it wasn't dry ice, but still impressive. It made eating fun.

We ended up staying there for two and half hours. At the end of the meal, Grace wanted to ask the waiters some questions for her Social Studies project. After the questions, we decided to leave, and go back to the college. On our way out of the restaurant (with waiters bowing us out) the host gave us each a purple lotus flower, and thanked us for coming. It was the best restaurant going experience that I have ever had. And not nearly as expensive as you think it would be.

That was my night. I got to get dressed up in a nice dress and heels, and go out to an amazing dinner. What more could a girl want? And don't answer that.

Writers Block

I can't even tell you how much I am enjoying having the week off, with everybody gone, to write a 1500 character essay at my leisure. And think about it. My research? Involves me working on my health. I can go see a doctor about chronic headaches that I have been getting since childhood, and I can call it research. I can lie on a bed, not moving, taking a nap for half an hour, AND IT'S RESEARCH. Tomorrow, I get to go get a massage and cupping, and it's research. I love my life.

Today, I took the moment to enjoy this. Well, after I got my internet fixed, that is. I spent an hour trying to get it working. I paid for another month yesterday, but for some reason, I couldn't get online this morning. I got into a fight with the internet lady over it. It was an accident, I swear! I blame it on language barriers.

But it was all okay in the end. I did feel bad about getting mad at her, but she was not being helpful, and I was getting jerked around. So I had a temper. Sue me.

I spent the majority of the rest of the afternoon trying to write my paper, and edit what I had written yesterday. It wasn't easy, but I got up to 750 characters, which is half of what I need to have written, and I have a good idea of what I need to write next. I have more of the background of Chinese medicine to write, and a couple of stories to tell. It should be pretty easy to wrap up.

I took a break at around 2 to get my head out of my room, and go for a walk downtown. I was trying get to a new place so that I could keep writing. I hate writers block. While i was walking, I saw a guy that was selling rabbits and fish out of a cart that was attached to his bike. These rabbits were the cutest thing that I have ever seen. They were small, and huddled up in tiny little cages. I almost bought one. Almost. But there I didn't think that I would be able to take it on the plane. I sent a text to my mom, just to make sure. How awesome would that be if I could buy a bunny here and bring it back with me to America?

I worked on my paper some more until 5, and then took the bus over to a restaurant that I used to know. Unfortunately, walking down the street, I couldn't find the restaurant, and I ended up eating cereal for dinner as soon as I got back home. After going to the DVD store, of course. It's so hard to find places that I used to go to! China is upscaling. It's a problem. Maybe not from an economists point of view, but from the point of view of an innocent bystander trying to find an restaurant to eat it, it is.

Not a very interesting day, I know. But hey, writing is not exactly a glamorous job. Talk soon!